100 Ways to know you're obsessed
by Marie Alice Brandon Cullen
Summary: Ever wondered if you are truly obsessed about Twilight? Well, here is a list of a few things that obsessed Twilight girls, like myself would do. #32 Ran an online search in your school computer for any boys named Edward or Edward Cullen.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello people! So i was bored and had a writer's block on my other story. And I ended up with this little number. We all know we love Twilight but some of us are obsessed. So here is a little list that I put together from all the things me and my Twilight crazy friends.**

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, would I be writing on Fanfiction.

**100 ways to know that youre obsessed about Twilight**

You are obsessed if you……..

1. Have at least 20 or more twilight icons.

2. Have made an icon.

3. Quote Twilight on an everyday basis.

4. Make Twilight jokes.

5. Laugh at your own Twilight jokes.

6. Have a count down to Breaking Dawn.

7. Are in love with one of the characters from the book.

8. Dream about Twilight.

9. Daydream about Twilight.

10. Have a special playlist of Twilight-related songs.

11. Make up your own Twilight related lyrics to a song you like.

12. Can relate anything to the books.

13. Know that the movie will disappoint you but are still going to go see it.

14. Plan to throw something at the movie screen when the movie gets stupid.

15. Have made an 'I love Twilight' (or anything Twilight related) shirt.

16. Name people you like Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, Carlisle, Edward, Esme, Jasper, Angela, etc...

17. Name people you don't like Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Laurent, James, Victoria, etc...

18. Read Fanfiction.

19. Write Fanfiction.

20. Have read the Twilight series over 5 times.

21. Cried while you were reading New Moon.

22. Cried when Bella broke it off with Jacob in Eclipse.

23. Wanted to punch Jacob when he kissed Bella.

24. Wanted to punch Bella when she kissed Jacob.

25. Squealed when you finally got your hands on New Moon.

26. Squealed when you finally got your hands on Eclipse.

27. Know Edward's birthday (June 20th).

28. Know Bella's birthday (September 13th).

29. Instantly dislike a person if their names are Lauren, Mike, Jessica, James, Laurent, or Victoria.

30. Instantly start looking around you if you hear the names Edward, Jacob, Alice, Emmett, or the last name Cullen.

31. Have people telling you that you are too obsessed.

32. Ran an online search in your school for any boys named Edward.

33. Or anybody with the last name Cullen, or any boys named Edward Cullen (in my school there are none).

34. Whenever you hear thunder, you think of vampires playing baseball.

35. Believe that there is a real vampire mafia.

36. And that they are in Italy.

37. And that it is named the Volturi.

38. Correct people that vampires don't die in the sunlight, and tell them that they only sparkle.

39. When you have a baby you're planning to name it Edward if they're a boy and Alice if they're a girl.

40. Believe that every vampire is sexy.

41. But not as sexy as Edward Cullen.

42. Correct people that werewolves don't transform when the moon is out.

43. And tell them that it happens when they get mad.

44. Correct people that vampires don't sleep in coffins…they don't sleep at all.

45. Also that vampires don't get hurt by crosses.

46. Have turned to the religion called Cullenism.

47. Throw the book at people's faces when they try to tell you 'it's just a book'.

48. Throw the book at people's faces when they try to tell you 'Edward isn't real'.

49. Throw the book at people's faces when they refuse to read Twilight.

50. Own more than two copies of Twilight.

51. Own more than two copies of New Moon.

52. Own more than two copies of Eclipse

53. Have pre-ordered Breaking Dawn on January.

54. Squeal every time you see a silver Volvo.

55. And then run after the car screaming things like 'bite me Edward', 'I want to be a monster too'.

56. Have a new favorite shirt that is now blue.

57. Want a silver Volvo when you grow up.

58. Wish you had paler skin so you could look more like Bella.

59. Wish your eyes were bigger so you could look more like Bella.

60. Are clumsy and proud of it.

61. When you or your friends get hurt you say 'time to go see Carlisle'.

62. Talk to Edward in your head.

63. When you go to a restaurant you order mushroom ravioli and a coke.

64. Tell everyone you know to read Twilight.

65. Including you mom.

66. And the boys assuring them that 'it will help them get girls'.

67. When youre scared or sad you think about Edward/Jacob.

68. And instantly feel better.

69. Have a quote off with your friends.

70. Talk to your friends about how hot Edward/Jacob is even if they haven't read Twilight.

71. Get people to call you Bella, Rosalie, Alice, or Esme.

72. Plan to change your name changed into Bella, Alice, Rosalie or Esme.

73. Plan to marry someone named Edward/Jacob, Emmett, Jasper or Carlisle.

74. Or plan to make them change their name.

75. Are planning on taking the night courses during college and university to see if you could meet Edward.

76. Sometimes accidentally call your mom Renée.

77. Sometimes accidentally call your dad Charlie.

78. When a guy you don't like asks you out you say you 'only date men who sparkle'.

79. Wash your hair with strawberry shampoo.

80. Believe that Bella and Edward are better than Romeo and Juliet.

81. Want to visit Forks.

82. And go vampire hunting

83. Want to visit Italy.

84. And go vampire hunting to see if they'll bite you.

85. Are raising money to buy the rights of Twilight.

86. And Edward.

87. Organize your closet in Rosalie, Alice, and Bella piles.

88. When you go shopping you label the clothes and shoes you see/buy as things Rosalie, Alice or Bella would get.

89. While doing homework, you put a picture of Edward in your computer for inspiration.

90. Believe the guy you like/are dating is a vampire because he's so sexy.

91. Believe all pale people to be vampires.

92. Dress up as a vampire for Halloween.

93. In Halloween you run after little kid dressed up as vampires and tell them to bite you.

94. Talk to your friends about what power Bella will have when she becomes a vampire.

95. Are mean to people who are on Team Jacob (yes TEAM EDWARD all the way )).

96. Dance in the rain when it rains.

97. And scream 'OME were in Forks!!'

98. Without even knowing it you doodle about Twilight.

99. Plaster you wall with Twilight pictures.

100. Are planning to buy a big cardboard Edward and Put it in your bedroom.

**Tadah! What do you think? Good? Bad? Awful? Well review away! haha so if you do 10 or more of the things in this list you are officially obsessed ) And if you think of any other things to add to the list review and tell me.**

**P.S. This is a one-shot unless you guys want more...?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, you guys are awesome! Many, many reviews and also lots of ideas! Thanks it's really hard to make a list this long, but you guys really helped me A LOT!! :) Special thanks to CullenGirl05 (the first three are hers), ****Zodiacgirl14 (# 39), Bellaluvs (# 40), ****edward-lover-456 (#46), ****Shinobi Shinigami (#72, #90, #91, #92,& #50) and a very helpful friend named Melanie (#9, #13, #15, # 24,#25, #26, #56, #57, #33, #32, #43, #44, #62, #67, #60, #51, #53, #71, #36, #58, #30).**

Disclaimer: Ha!! I wouldn't obsessed with Twilight if I owned it. Or would I…

**100 Ways to know you're obsessed Part 2**

You're obsessed when you…

1. Gave up on reading any other book because you know nothing can compare to Twilight.

2. Think about Edward when you can't sleep at night.

3. PRAY to the Twilight books, and have your own prayer to Edward Cullen.

4. Freak out when you see a guy with green eyes.

5. Freak out when you see a guy with Edward's hair.

6. Name inanimate objects Twilight names and then talk to them.

7. Name your pets Twilight names.

8. Wish Alice would take you shopping.

9. Pour glitter on your boyfriend so he'll sparkle.

10. Put glitter on your arms and claim to be a vampire.

11. When someone has cold hands you hold them.

12. And put them around your face.

13. Have Genesis 2:17 memorized.

14. Go to the hospital just to see if Carlisle's there.

15. Interrogate your doctor by asking him if he has a black car, a son named Edward, if he adopted his children or if he likes baseball to see if he's Carlisle in disguise.

16. Truly believe that there is a real Edward Cullen out there.

17. Can't think of anything but Twilight.

18. Even if you tried.

19. Can't talk of anything but Twilight.

20. Even if you tried.

21. Your friends yell at you because you talk only about Twilight.

22. Start a conversation saying 'have you read Twilight?'

23. Or 'Team Edward or Team Jacob?'

24. Or 'so, Edward Cullen'.

25. When you're at the store you run to the Apples and try to find a perfect Twilight apple and then take a picture while doing the 'Twilight' pose.

26. Then run to the cologne aisle to see if any can smell like Edward.

27. Then spray yourself and announce that you smell like a vampire.

28. Go vampire hunting at night.

29. When you get a paper cut you look around for Jasper (he never shows up).

30. And then text your friends that you got a paper cut.

31. Refer to Twilight as the 'Black and Red Bible'.

32. Have Stephenie's website as your homepage.

33. Have a countdown to the Twilight movie.

34. Have read the first chapter of Midnight Sun.

35. When your friend trips you laugh and say 'that's so Bella'.

36. Laugh hysterically when you or someone hits their heads while playing badminton.

37. Plan to buy the Twilight soundtrack, even if it sucks.

38. Name the frog that you are dissecting in biology Jacob so you dont feel as bad when you cut it open.

39. Have fake phone calls with the cast of Twilight.

40. Your standards really are set according to Edward Cullen.

41. When you predict something is going to happen and then it happens, you believe you are Alice.

42. And try to tell the future for your friends.

43. Plan on applying for Barnes & Noble and do nothing but stand in the front of the story and tell people to read Twilight

44. Until you get fired, and then stand outside the store and advertise the book.

45. When you see a teddy bear, you instantly think of Emmett.

46. Buy a teddy bear and name it Emmett.

47. Buy a lion stuffed animal, name it Edward and then kiss it.

48. Fight with your friends over the stuffed lion when she steals it.

49. Attempt to call Rose when your car breaks down.

50. Have celebrated Twilight characters birthdays.

51. Classify your and your friend's haircuts as so Alice, Rosalie, Bella etc…

52. Make Edward play you a lullaby when you can't sleep at night (in your head).

53. Say 'Edward, is that you?' when you hear a weird sound at night.

54. While watching the Twilight trailer you point out to yourself (or friends) the parts that aren't in the book.

55. Want to go on a crazy motorcycle ride to see if you'll hear Edward.

56. When that doesn't work you run o the nearest mountain and go cliff diving.

57. Stay up until 2 A.M. when your start reading one of the books.

58. Have been to the Dartmouth college website and plan on going there to see if you'll find any hot pale guys.

59. When you see someone with the books you go up to them and start talking about how good it is.

60. Instantly like someone if they've read Twilight.

61. Say OMC (oh my Carlisle) or OME (oh my Edward).

62. Sit on your friend's laps and say that you want Edward Cullen for Christmas.

63. Read Twilight under your desk at school.

64. Know what the apple, flower and ribbon mean.

65. Memorize your favorite parts of the books.

66. Read the outtakes of the books in Stephenie's website.

67. Your friends can hack into your computer because your password is Edward Cullen.

68. Your friends can bribe you into doing anything by saying that they'll give you Edward.

69. Have made a schedule with your friends to see who gets Edward which day of the week (mine's Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays :).

70. Know all of the Cullen's full names.

71. Insult people by saying 'you're such a Lauren'.

72. Are going to wait 12 AM August 1st at a bookstore to be the first to get the  
new Breaking Dawn (of course you need that T-Shirt you made!).

73. When you see scary vampire movie you snort, say 'they always have to make vampires the bad guys', and walk away.

74. While watching Van Helsing you called out everything that was wrong about it, vampire and werewolf wise (it used to be my favorite movie).

75. And then get kicked out of the living room for talking too much.

76. Believe that the only reason Edward hasn't come for you yet is that he can't get Bella off of him.

77. And then make a plan of how you'll get rid of her (she can go with Jacob).

78. Read Wuthering Heights just because Bella read it.

79. When any part of you body is cold you think you're a vampire.

80. When any part of you body is warm you think you're a werewolf.

81. When you heal too quickly you think you're a werewolf.

82. Plan on making a cloning machine and cone Edward when you fond him (for all your friends).

83. Know what the cover of Breaking Dawn looks like.

84. Refer to your ideal man as an 'Edward'.

85. Carry the books with you everywhere.

86. And then offer the people around you if they want to borrow it.

87. Call your best friend Alice.

88. Wore lavender smelling perfume so that you'd smell like Bella.

89. Tried on a Bella, Alice, and Rosalie outfits while shopping.

90. Will fly all the way to Arizona and stalk Stephenie because she created this  
obsession.

91. Will move to Alaska or somewhere where it isn't sunny for chances of seeing  
vampires or better yet Edward.

92. Will punch the closest Jacob near you if Bella kisses Jacob Black again.

93. Whenever you fall you get mad at Edward for not catching you.

94. Want the movie people to make a Twilight video game.

95. Bug people you know to read Twilight until they do (I'm still working on one last girl- I'll get you Angel!!).

96. Read 'The Host' just because Stephenie Meyer wrote it.

97. Know that Edward has a 'special occasion car'.

98. Wear blue at least ounce a week.

99. When someone drives by really fast you say something along the lines of 'stupid impatient vampires'.

100. Write 'I heart EC' on your notebooks and hands, and on your friends' notebooks and hands, even if the haven't read Twilight.

**Woo this was hard!! It took a long time!! wipes forehead. ****Anyway…there it is review away!! New suggestions for the next chapter (if I can think that much). Please help!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**100 ways to know you are Obsessed**

**Hiya guys! long time no see :). This took me somewhat of a long time and took a lot of creativity. So I hope you enjoy it and laugh out loud and I hope it brightens your day. By the way it rainig right now! It's just like Forks! Ha i just got finished dancing in the rain with some friends, it was so much fun! Now we're all going to get sick haha! But so wotrth it! Anyways lets get to bussiness....ENJOY!**

Disclaimer: Well...Technically I own the posters of Twilight in my room...does that count?

**Chapter 3**

You are obsessed if you…

1. Finished Breaking Dawn in 2-3 days.

2. Stayed up until 3 A.M. reading Breaking Dawn.

3. Want to get a tattoo that has to do with Twilight.

4. While watching movies, you name people in the story Bella, Edward, or Jacob etc…

5. Have pre-ordered your Twilight movie ticket.

6. Even though you know the Twilight movie will suck, you are still going to see it.

7. Have read Breaking Dawn at least 3 times in the last two weeks.

8. And the second or third time while reading Breaking Dawn you read really slowly in the last pages because you were so sad the saga was over.

9. Actually cried when you read the last pages of Breaking Dawn because it was over.

10. Had a dilemma between if you should read Midnight Sun or not.

11. Squealed when you heard that Midnight Sun was out (in the internet).

12. Have been looking in fanfiction for ReneesmexJacob stories.

13. Then you felt bad because someone actually hurt the grand creator of Twilight.

14. Were glued to the computer reading Midnight Sun.

15. Have created/followed/imagined an angry mob to go after the person who leaked Midnight Sun (even though you are so happy you can read it now).

16. Look in the library for Twilight when you have a one book at home.

17. Wanted to check out that Twilight book at the library when you had one at home.

18. Want the Twilight soundtrack.

19. Bought the Twilight soundtrack.

20. Have downloaded the music from the books into your Ipod.

21. Bought yourself a Twilight t-shirt/pants/jacket.

22. Wear your Twilight t-shirt/pants/jacket at least once a week.

23. Wanted/bought a Twilight the movie poster.

24. OR snorted with disgust because the Twilight actor were so out-of-character (in my opinion Edward is so NOT hot, or cute for that matter, and Bella is a REALLY bad actress and she just doesn't have that Bella vibe).

25. When you are sick your friend calls you and tells you a Twilight related story they made up in the spot.

26. Are going to the midnight showing of Twilight.

27. When someone tell you your hands are cold you say "that's because im a vampire."

28. OR when someone says your hands or forehead are flaming hot you say "that's because im a werewolf."

29. Have whole outfit planned for the Twilight movie premiere.

30. Have watched all of the Twilight previews (one came on in T.V.)

31. Are re-reading Twilight before you go see the Twilight movie.

32. Believe that if you make your scent identical to Bella's, Edward will find you.

33. Know exactly what Edward smells like (they said how in Breaking Dawn.)

34. When you hear people recounting tales of vampires and were wolves, you accuse them of being Quileutes.

35. Have done extensive research for the smallest things in Twilight (like when Bella googled vampires and it takes a while; it does!).

36. Grumble about 80 mph as "too slow".

37. Call your favorite food "la tua cantante".

38. Or "il tuo cantante" (because, of course, you have done research and know that the latter refers to a male singer).

39. Have gotten or want a tattoo on your hand, so that you could have a scar like Bella's (it also work if you use a permanent marker).

40. Held an ice cube to it so that it would be cold.

41. Made your English teacher read the Twilight series.

42. Wear shoes that are too big so that you would trip like Bella.

43. Punched a kid named Jacob.

44. Call your Twilight book 'your Babies'.

45. Say your favorite color is brown just because it's Bella's.

46. Have dedicated a while website to Twilight.

47. Your myspace/facebook/etc has Twilight in it.

48. Have taken a picture of a Twilight drawing in the computer of the Cullen family and printed out as a picture to keep by your side always.

49. Then you have gotten the picture out to show your friends you 'family photograph'.

50. When going to place with no electricity (which means no fanfiction), you have printed out loads stories and made a bonder so you wouldn't miss them.

51. For Halloween you were one of the Twilight characters.

52. Read The Host just because Stephenie Meyer wrote it.

53. Heard about a band called the Bella Cullen Project.

54. Have accidentally called your best friend Alice/Bella/Rosalie.

55. Are actually happy when people tell you that you are obsessed with Twilight.

56. Find it comical when people get mad when you make a Twilight-related comment.

57. Have a Twilight inspired haircut (I just did).

58. Have made a collage of all the Twilight pictures you have and put it as your computer's background.

59. Have also put that collage as you computer's background in your school's computer.

60. Can't wait till the Twilight movie.

61. Get energized the moment you start thinking about the Twilight movie.

62. When you feel gloomy, you console yourself by thinking about Twilight.

63. And you instantly feel comforted.

64. Have dialed out Edward's name in your phone and tried calling him (it doesn't work).

65. Squeal every time you see the Twilight trailed on T.V.

66. OR snort every time you see the Twilight trailer on T.V.

67. When you're hungry you say "im so hungry I could eat a grizzly."

68. Read Twilight (or a book from the series) under your desk during school or a meeting.

69. Don't take Twilight (or a book from the series) to school or a meeting because you know you will get too tempted to read it.

70. Know your vampire history better than the history you have learned at school.

71. Are seriously thinking about getting a therapist for your obsession.

72. Have thought about buying golden-butterscotch contacts.

73. OR green contacts.

74. OR red contacts.

75. Named your pet dog Jacob/Leah/Seth etc…

76. Tell people to call you Vampire Girl.

77. OR tell people to call you Werewolf Girl.

78. Have Twilight stickers plastered on all your binders.

79. Have your favorite parts of the books memorized.

80. Will go up to absolutely ANYONE who is carrying one of the Twilight books.

81. Have watched Twilight at least twice the first week it came out.

82. Where at the Twilight midnight premiere at least 4 hours earlier.

83. Watched the Twilight movie at least twice within the first week it was out.

84. Have watched the Twilight trailer millions of time.

85. Cried during the Twilight movie.

86. Yelled at the screen during the movie because there was a part in the book that wasn't in the movie.

87. Laughed at the silly parts in the movie the Twilight character would never do.

88. Have the Twilight movie on your wish list.

89. Talked about the Twilight movie after you saw it and about absolutely nothing else.

90. Can't wait for the sequel.

91. Want to do a Twilight spoof.

92. When feeling lonely you quote Twilight in your head.

93. Squealed when that friend that hates twilight told you that she saw the movie and decided to finally read the book (she is absolutely obsessed now).

94. Tell your friends things like "I love you like Bella loves Alice" or "You are my Jacob (best friend).

95. Use Twilight as a secret language (Ex: Emmett's la tua cantante is near).

96. Dance in the rain whenever it storms, and most likely get sick after that.

97. When in a hospital you say that the only doctor who will be allowed to heal you is Carlisle.

98. While in the hospital you follow the blonde doctors around and ask them where Edward is.

99. When people tell you "you look pale" you take it as a compliment.

100. When playing sport you always suggest that your team's name should be the Twilighters or Edwardians etc…

**There you go peoples! How was it? Any suggestion? You know, reviewing is clinically proven to help me update faster :) it's true look it up!**

**Oh and... **

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!**


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